that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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