idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
