Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
