Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
