erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
