i need an iv and a liver transplant
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Randomize
