I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
