ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
