belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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