I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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