i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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