I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
