i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The air was thick with penises
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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