I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The air taste purple.
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