I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
