he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
