So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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