Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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