Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
