This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
