Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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