That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
