Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
