Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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