So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
