i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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