Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
