dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
