I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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