he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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