i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
