And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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