i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
