accomplished twins. life is a go
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
