on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
