It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
