I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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