How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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