I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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