She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
