The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
