I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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