I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
