I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
