I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
