For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
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