I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
