I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
