census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
