Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
