Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
