he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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