Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
