He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
