She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
