I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
